Due to Rash of Sex Scandals, What Do We Do In Our Bedrooms?

In light of recent sex scandals involving powerful men who are married, it makes me wonder what goes on in bedrooms across America. It has become apparent that some essential component that keeps our relationships/marriages working is missing.

You have heard it said many times, but I think it bears repeating over and over again; if your marriage isn’t working in the bedroom, it won’t work in the kitchen or dining room or living room. The intimacy in the marriage bed is what keeps our primary relationship in the home going. Make no mistake about it, the primary relationship in the home is between the husband and wife; everything else is secondary. We need to get our priorities straight and understand that this essential relationship must be maintained at all costs. This is the foundation on which the marriage is built. When this fails, everything fails.

In today’s world our lives are so busy the typical woman is juggling many different roles. She is wife, mother worker, CEO, or professional, working taking care of her family fixing dinner, helping with homework, including doing light housekeeping. At the end of the day she is tired from all the multitasking she has had to do; is it any wonder she has no energy left to enjoy sex?

On the other hand, her husband has thought of nothing but sex all day. In fact he so intently focused on the pleasure of his wife’s company it enabled him to survive the stresses of the day. Tonight when he nudges her, he is reliving the fantasy he has had all day. But she groans, please tomorrow, I’m too tired.

You can see the problem developing. Somehow his needs and hers have to be met to remove complacency from their marriage. Otherwise pretty soon in an effort to have his needs dealt with, he will find a way to do so. Strip clubs and gentlemen’s clubs do not exist only for the single man. A vast majority of the men who patronize these places are married. Which leads me to ask, what is really going on in our bedrooms?

Most men have a fantasy of their wives as a Victoria’s secret supermodel. I don’t think it matters whether you are a size 2 or size 20; the thing is find a way to place yourself solidly in his mindset that you are the living embodiment of his dream. I was raised on the thinking that a man wants a lady in the living room and a you know who in the bedroom. This was the older generation’s way of explaining that your husband’s satisfaction is your responsibility. It is easy to say they didn’t work outside the home so they could be ready to perform all sorts of acrobatics in bed. But think about it for a minute, it seems to embody the thinking of men today.

I’m an advocate for marriage. I want to find a way to make it work so that all the individuals involved can lead largely satisfactory lives in marital relationships where their sexual and emotional needs are met. I do know that there are men who grapple with or who may have had prior existing sexual issues long before their wives arrive on the scene. These will affect the current marriage if they are not handled. Bear in mind that unresolved emotional and sexual issues do tend to surface. So the thing to do is deal with your issues before they deal with you.

My friends, learn to maintain your primary relationship. Husbands, treat your wives as the queen she is. The marriage vows says forsaking all others, keep this in mind the next time the temptation to walk away from your marriage to unzip your pants and fall into a bed that is not your own. Wives do what only you can do to please your husband. If nights are too tiring then find a way to create that intimacy whether its early in the morning or spice up your relationship by pretending to have an affair with each other and meet at home in clandestine manner. Whatever you do it should be just be the two of you. Maintain your marriage, work at it and return to the intimacy and excitement you first had when you had just met. Let us make what happens in our bedrooms stay in our bedrooms for the good of the marriage.