Single life can be a very rewarding one if its context is understood. While single one can do as he or she pleases, for the most part. You can travel the world and experience exotic locations without the worry of children or answering to another. While single you can pick and choose your company as you wish and determine who you will share your life’s precious moments with.
So, why would anyone give up being single to enter a relationship that would limit such freedoms? Why would anyone share their wealth and/or honors with someone who will continue to remind them that they “are not all that?” Why would anyone become the object of someone else’s expectation before they have had the opportunity to experience adult life and the world to the fullest on their own?
The Single Christian has a great advantage over the average single, if they are faithful to God. Imagine being single and saved while simultaneously allowing God to govern all your affairs. For many this idea is a dream that has been swallowed up by the conflict of knowing the word of God and knowing how to relate to those of the opposite sex.
As one re-thinks marriage they must ask themselves a very critical question – “Is marital unfaithfulness a result of spiritual unfaithfulness practiced during single life towards Christ? Understandably, not all singles are spiritual or have obtained salvation based upon the finished work of Jesus Christ. For those who have – if they are willing to disobey the “God of their salvation”, by actively engaging in unbiblical behaviors while single, why find it shocking in marriage if they justify other forms of sin; including adultery?
The truth is our churches have not done a great job preparing our young single people for faithfulness toward God in order to withstand the pressures of unfaithfulness in a relationship. When a single person who is serious about their faithfulness towards God engages in a relationship with a person who is unfaithful or has no faith in God – compromise is eminent and will soon render the faithful party unfaithful.
The intent of this article is not to scare anyone out of marriage. However, marriage is a very sacred institution that no one should enter into marriage with the mindset that just because you experienced a wedding with exchanging vows - all of their unfaithfulness as a single person will somehow translate into holiness once you get married. Quite the truth, if you enter marriage having formerly chosen to live unfaithful towards God the likelihood of you continuing to grow in unfaithfulness, now towards your marital partner, is even more plausible.
The seeds of sin care nothing about one’s relationship status; including that of marriage. Many adulterous marriages may be encountering the fruit of unfaithful periods in single life where an individual was unwilling to be faithful towards God in all things; especially in areas of sexual purity.
WHAT TO DO
As we re-think marriage I offer three challenges to increase sexual purity.
TEACH SEXUAL PURITY
One, the church needs to assist parents with their children in proper education regarding the importance of sexual purity. For many youth, sexual purity is assumed until there is evidence otherwise. In some cases even parents need to be educated and trained, properly, on how to educate their children according to the word of God with sound wisdom regarding sexual purity.
COLLEGE STUDENTS NEED SUPPORT
Two, at the college level, the church needs to ensure single people are supported. The reality of being sexually pure on a hypersexual college campus, especially while living in the dormitory, can make the faithful single person a consistent target of the opposite sex for reasons none other than bragging rights about undermining their sexual purity. It is during these times the faithful single person must understand practical ways to ensure their sexual purity is not compromised.
GRACE AND MERCY FOR THE UNFAITHFUL
Third, ensure all adult singles that have lived lives of unfaithfulness toward God are encouraged to live faithful, especially sexually, to ensure better discipline whenever marriage becomes a reality. Also, to remind the single adult, as it relates to sexual impurity, that the provisions of grace and mercy by God are more than accessible to them. If singles understand the forgiveness of God, even in their unfaithfulness toward Him, it will go a long way in ensuring they shed their former conduct and insist on a life of new faithfulness toward God that will be rewarded.
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